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Home  | Medicine Safety  | Factsheet 5: How can I help someone living with pain?

Factsheet 5: How can I help someone living with pain?

What’s on this page
Take care of yourself Being there helps 10 ways to help someone you care for Look after yourself too. Download resources

A young girl helping a friend in wheel chair in a library

People who care for a family member or friend living with long-term (chronic) pain play a vital role in making sure their loved one’s pain is managed correctly. This helps lead to a better quality of life for the person living with pain.

As a carer you have a unique insight and understanding of what it’s like for a person living with pain. This is invaluable as understanding and compassion towards the person is often reported as being one of the things that can help someone manage their condition.

Adapted from Chronic Pain Australia.

Take care of yourself

Being in pain has a big impact on a person’s quality of life. When someone you care for is living with pain, you can see how it can be exhausting and irritating for them. But, you shouldn’t overlook how caring for someone in pain can be physically taxing and emotionally draining for you too. It’s important to take good care of yourself.

Remember you can’t be there for someone else unless you first look after yourself.

Find support at Carer Gateway | T: 1800 422 737

If you’re a young carer, you can get additional support from Young Carers Network.

Being there helps

There are plenty of ways to help someone in pain. Support helps the person you’re caring for feel less alone and feel looked after. It can help them feel more able to deal with their symptoms.

10 ways to help someone you care for

Icon containing two dialogue boxes (white and red) intertwined representing a conversation. 1. Ask about their pain

Everyone has a unique, individual experience of pain. You probably already know about their pain but asking how they’re going reminds them you care.

  • How is your pain today?
  • Will your pain affect what you do today?
  • What things make it feel worse?
  • What things help?
Icon of a float in white black, red and blue color. 2. Listen and show warmth

It’s not easy to understand constant pain unless you’ve been there. You know their pain is real but don’t brush off their pain by saying they’ll be fine or it’ll pass. It may be well-meaning but is unlikely to help.

Look at the world from their perspective and appreciate that they’re doing their best to get on with their life in the best way they can.

Icon that has a halo around the head of a person 3. Don’t define them by the pain

Sometimes people can define themselves by their pain. As their carer it helps to remind them of the rounded human they are and what makes them special.

Icon of a question mark 4. Ask how you can help

Pain symptoms can change day to day so keep checking in. That way you can stay on the same page.

Never underestimate how your role as a carer gives them a sense of a normal life.

If you’ve asked your loved one to go to activities or social engagements but they say no, don’t let that stop you from asking them again. And again. They still want to have fun too.

Icon of bars with different heights, plus or minus. 5. Use a pain scale

Have a pain scale from 1 to 10.

Ask the person you care for what their level of pain is:

1 = free of pain and feeling fabulous

5 = having some pain but managing it

10 = having the worst pain ever

This’ll help you understand how they’re feeling and how you can support them.

Magnifying glass icon 6. Look for signs of pain

You spend a lot of time with the one you care for and probably know the signs when they’re in pain. For example, decreased activity, poor concentration, sleep disturbances, mood swings, moaning, hand wringing, irritability, restlessness and grimacing. But, pain can be mentally tiring too. Keep an eye out for any signs of stress or depression.

Icon of an individual holding a flag 7. Respect what they can and can’t do

Every day can be different. Someone with pain might be happy to walk somewhere one day or do physical activity, but another day, may struggle to get out of bed.

Recognise their physical abilities each day. When the person in pain needs to stop what they’re doing to sit down, lie down or go home – go with it without judgement.

Icon of a door with an arrow pointing inwards. 8. Offer to go to appointments with them

Going to medical appointments with the person you’re caring for, not only helps you understand their condition, it gives you chance to find out more about their medication. Being there helps be their back-up to hear all the information given, and it’s emotional support too.

As the carer, it can be helpful to arrange appointments or speak with health professionals, work bosses or colleagues, teachers, family or friends to extend support.

icon of a hand with a sprouting plant in hand 9. Encourage healthy living and positive thinking

It can be easy to slip into unhealthy ways when feeling severe pain. Encouraging the one/s you love to look after themselves is a really positive thing to do. This might involve:

  • planning meals, grocery shopping, or cooking healthier food together,
  • going for walks or other physical activities together.

Staying positive can help the person you care for feel more positive and help them build confidence and hope. This doesn’t mean dismissing their feelings or ignoring their experiences but gently encouraging positivity when the time is right.

Icon of a book with an explorer arrow on top. Colors: white, blue and red. 10. Explore various pain relief options

Remember! You may not always be able to help in pain management directly. Sometimes their pain can take a toll on your health as well.

Refer to factsheet 3 for things you can do to help.

Look after yourself too.

Care for yourself and take the time and space you need to recuperate.

Support is available for you:

Visit or call Carer Gateway on 1800 422 737 (8 am-5 pm, Mon-Fri) to find local services and support.

More tips for carers and people with pain can be found here:

  • National Pain Week
  • Australian Pain Management Association
  • Chronic Pain Australia
  • Pain Australia

Look out for Chronic Pain apps, blogs and podcasts. It can help the person you’re caring for, know they’re not alone.

Pain Australia has an excellent directory at www.painaustralia.org.au/getting-help/pain-directory.

Remember! Seek support from your doctor or pharmacist if you have any questions about how to help someone take their opioid medicines.

Download resources

Factsheet
Opioid Factsheet 5: How can I help someone living with pain?

7 May 2021 – 354.71 KB

Download 
Factsheet
Information pack – Opioids checklist and factsheets

7 May 2021 – 1.72 MB

Download 
What’s on this page
Take care of yourself Being there helps 10 ways to help someone you care for Look after yourself too. Download resources
Related topics
Medicines Safety Caring for someone living with pain and taking opioids Smoking cessation, nicotine products and e-cigarettes Factsheet 1: How do I know if the person I’m caring for is taking opioid medicines? Factsheet 2: How can I support the person I’m caring for with taking their opioid medicines? Factsheet 3: How can I identify if a person I’m caring for is not using their opioid medicine safely, and what can I do to help? Factsheet 4: Will the person I’m caring for still have access to opioid medicines? Factsheet 5: How can I help someone living with pain? Checklist – Are you a carer for someone living with pain? Do you want to learn more about their opioid pain medication?
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